The Pressure to Get It Right as a Solo Mum

Trying to get things “right” can feel important.

Especially when the stakes feel high. After all, you are doing it all alone. There is no-one for back up and everyone is looking to you. It might also feel like everyone is looking at you. And perhaps judging you too.

So you think things through.
Plan ahead.
Try to avoid mistakes.

But over time…
this can turn into pressure that grows and grows and grows in intensity, till you can hardly breathe. And it can be utterly exhausting too.

Control as safety

Control isn’t always about perfection.

Often, it’s about safety.

If things have felt uncertain before,
control can feel like a way to prevent that from happening again.

The hidden pressure

You might notice:

• overthinking decisions
• difficulty letting things go
• fear of making the wrong choice

Because it doesn’t just feel like a decision.

It feels like it matters more than that.

When everything feels important

When you’re holding a lot,
every decision can feel like it carries weight.

Which can make it harder to decide at all.

A different question

Instead of asking:
“Why can’t I just let go?”

You might explore:
“What feels like it would happen if I didn’t get this right?”
Or
"What is the worst thing that could happen if I got it wrong?"

Ask yourself...

• Where do I feel like I can’t make a mistake?
• What am I trying to prevent?
• What would “good enough” look like here?
  
  

Control isn’t always about being rigid.

Sometimes it’s about trying to feel safe in uncertainty.

Let me know what comes up for you when you consider these question, and perhaps even journalling them if that works for you, and please reach out with any questions or comments. I LOVE to hear from my readers!

Talk soon.

Gretel xx
Greteljane Somatic Therapy
www.greteljane.com.au
https://www.facebook.com/greteljanesomatictherapy